How to know you're not feeling well

Calling in sick, having coughing fits, and sleeping until 10:45 is a good start.

But, when at 1:30 pm you decide to get off the couch, put your half-empty (or half-full, depending on your outlook) cup of awful (or awful, regardless of your outlook) green tea on the counter, and go brush your teeth, you might find some affirmation that you're genuinely under the weather.

It's not that you brushed your teeth, but rather that you started in one bathroom, and then wandered aimlessly - without being really aware of it - into the other, unlit bathroom. The kicker is when you notice it's dark, turn on the faucet, and you are suprised that the lights didn't kick on. The 2 second pause and ensuing "Oh..." are both embarassing and enlightening at the same time. Dripping toothpaste foam down your mouth cause you actually opened your mouth to say "Oh...", however, is only embarassing.

Perhaps the non-drowsy formula would be a better choice next time.